Interview With The Riddler
by 72wolfpuppy
Summary: Riddler is being interviewed in Arkham Asylum, what is being said and what happens next?


The doctor and the patient were interviewing in Arkham Asylum, room #384.

"This is interview #1, I am Dr. Craig and I will be speaking with Edward Nygma patient #7753 himself from Gotham City," said the doctor in a robot-like tone.

"I prefer the Riddler," the patient cut in.

" I'm sure you do. Now, would you like to tell us what your past was like? In your childhood years?"

" Well, why not? Everyone wants to know the quirks behind the Riddler. Everyone wants answers to all of life's questions."

" Yes, that's very nice, but would you please answer my question?"

#7753 sighs. "Fine. My life at home back in my kid years wasn't the happiest, you might say. My father would beat me continuously every time he found out the high scores of my tests. He thought I was cheating, though I admit to bettering my chances with the puzzle contest. My father was just envious of my intelligence."

" So, could you say this was when you were introduced to your passion for riddles?"

" Yes, that was when I discovered their brilliancy. Riddles are the test of the mind, the way to prove you are smarter than everyone else around you. And anything can be put into a riddle, that's the really fascinating part. See, we go through life asking ourselves and the world questions, looking for answers. Those questions can be turned into riddles and now can be solved to find the answer. Isn't that extraordinary?"

" Yes, it is quite interesting."

" I knew you were going to say that."

" What do you mean by that?"

" I mean, that all of you interview people and therapists are all the same. So predictable. Too easy of a puzzle to solve."

"We're the same because we all want to ask questions and find information. It's our job."

" Yes, you are all trying to solve the riddle of the Riddler. What makes him tick? Why is he the way he is? It's the same thing over and over again."

" I think we've gotten a little too off base."

" Then you all try asking me how I feel about the things I did to those people. Quite frankly, I don't care! I was only testing their wits."

" Let's continue this tomorrow." The doctor gathers her papers and the rape recorder.

#7753 sat in his chair, drawing a question mark on the table with his finger.

END SESSION

They continued the interview in Arkham Asylum, room #384.

" Alright, this is our second session with the Riddler." The doctor spoke into the recorder.

" Hello, my fellow audience." #7753 also says into the recorder.

"…Anyway, we left off with your life at home last time, do you remember that?"

" Of course I do."

" Very well, all you mentioned was your father. Where was your mother in all this?"

" She was never around."

" You mean, she left you and your father?"

#7753 shrugs. "I suppose so, yes."

" Okay, how was your school life?"

" I got excellent grades, because of my excessive intelligence, but I never had much friends. I guess you could say I was not the social type. Let's talk about something else. I find this to be quite a boring subject."

" I'm the one to say what we talk about."

" But, since you're asking me the questions, I get to choose what I answer. So, you might as well ask me something different to save time."

The doctor sighs in irritation. "Fine. What made you become the Riddler in the first place? What made you a criminal of Gotham City?"

" That's better. Now, when I left home I worked as a carnival performer where I used my wonderful riddles to con the stupid people of their money. But, it wasn't fun anymore after a while. It became too easy. I wanted something more. So, I transformed to what I am today: The Riddler. Side note: that was also when I changed my name to Edward Nygma." The patient chuckles.

" I see, then Batman became your adversary?"

" Yes, it was the only one to challenge my intelligence, the only one to be actually be able to solve my riddles. When Batman came along, life did get a lot more interesting." He moves his hand under the table.

" What are you doing?" The doctor asks nervously.

" Oh nothing, just calling up some friends."

" What?!"

" This has been fun, it really has, but you see," The door to the room busts open and men in green come running in. "I have other business to attend to."

She hides under table as the men make the wall explode and jump out of the window.

Faint laughter is heard in the distance as the patient #7753 makes his escape once again.

END SESSION

Author's note: this was originally in interview format so if it seems poor quality, I am sorry. But, it looks like that format is frowned upon in this establishment (although I have no idea why, it's a form of creative writing, just like a poem is). -sigh-


End file.
